Jane Seyer Essay

Me Transformed


I turned into a slug. A couch sitting, Oreo eating, beer drinking slug. It started just after Halloween. My exercise routine was boring. Rather than change my routine, I used the “Holidays are too busy” excuse and quit exercising. I wish I could say the Oreos and beer were a new addition to my diet. However, I must admit they are very old friends.

Being a slug was very easy. It was not fun or rewarding or healthy. It was just easy.

In mid-January, I checked out my backside in the mirror. When I saw my mother’s lumpy a*s in my pants, I knew something had to change. So, I had a little chat with myself.

“Jane,” I said, “you are a slug. Your clothes no longer fit. You eat half a box of Oreos and drink at least one beer a day. You are not sleeping well. And, you feel like crap. Get off the couch and back to the gym. Now!”

“Fine!” I said, “On two conditions. One, I am not doing the same boring exercise routine. And two, I am not giving up my Oreos and beer.”

So, I started the Boot Camp Transformation along with my friend, Val. At first, the change was very painful. Every muscle hurt and my body screamed at me to reclaim my position on the couch. But, each week, it got a little easier, a little less painful, and it was never boring.

Now, at the end of the six weeks, my clothes fit better, I sleep better, I am stronger, and I feel much better. Most surprising of all, I have stopped craving Oreos. Not only have I stopped craving them, I actually feel a little sick when I eat them. As for the beer. . . let’s just say recycling day is much less embarrassing.

My slug days are over.

Jane Seyer